The Whole “Being Dead” Thing
"The Whole “Being Dead” Thing" is a song from the stage musical adaptation of Beetlejuice. It features Beetlejuice introducing the show to the audience and the concept of death itself. The song was performed by Beetlejuice's actor Alex Brightman and a chorus. Lyrics Hey, folks! Begging your pardon! ‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole Y'know, "being dead" thing You're doomed! Enjoy the singing The sword of Damocles is swinging And if I hear your cell phone ringing I'll kill you myself The whole "being dead" thing! Death can get a person stressed "We should have carpe'd way more diems Now we're never gonna see ‘em!" I can show you what comes next So don't be freaked Stay in your seats I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week So just relax, you'll be fine Drink your fifty-dollar wine And take a breath! Welcome to a show about death! You're You're gonna be fine On the other side die! you're all gonna die! You're all gonna die! I'll I'll be your guide To the other side Oh, and full disclosure: it's a show about death! Everybody gets on fine here Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here The women's bathroom has no line here Just pee where you want The whole being dead thing! You're just gonna love the folks here Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here The whole— The whole being dead thing! Nobody is bullet-proof "I work out, I eat clean!" Jesus, pass the Dramamine Time to face the brutal truth: (Dies Illa) ‘Cause we're all on a hit list Might not live ‘till Christmas Choke to death on Triscuits Hey, that's just statistics So take a little break here Kinda like a wake here The scenery is fake here But there's a giant snake here! Welcome to a show about death! You're You're gonna be fine—thank you! On the other side—how you doin'? Oh, not good! Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop! I'll—hey! I'll be your guide To the other side Seriously, though, this is a show about— Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new There's nothing medical professionals could do ‘cept maybe just bill you you die while listening to this album, it's still gonna keep playing. There's no destiny or fate Just a terrifying wait Filled with people that you hate And on a certain date, the Universe kills you! That's the thing with life: No one makes it out alive Toss that body in the pit "Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?" "Blah-blah, Bible, Jesus magic" When you're dead, who gives a shit? "No pilates, no more yoga!" "Namaste", you freakin' posers From the cradle to cremation (Dies Irae) Death just needs a little conversation! I have mastered the art (Dies Irae) Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae) So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae) On the whole "being dead" thing! God, I hope you're ready for a show about death! Other Appearances *The song was featured on the show's soundtrack. *A variation of the song was performed during the 2019 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. *The song was performed at the 2019 edition of the Tony Awards. *Another variation of the show was performed on live for the "Best of Broadway" section of The Today Show. Gallery Images Merlin 153031416 7f0cff39-69e0-4c10-b75d-381b5d555902-superJumbo.jpg AACEkV6.jpg Sooource.gif Tumblr 99e785a05187b9ea2e4745ad4400feff 800069b3 400.gif Videos The Whole "Being Dead" Thing|Soundtrack Beetlejuice The Musical Broadway sings "The Whole Being Dead Thing" Live Concert Today May 2 2019 HD|Today Show "The Whole Being Dead Thing" Beetlejuice Medley Performance at the 2019 Tony Awards Alex Brightman|Tony Awards Beetlejuice Broadway Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Performance 2019|Macy's Parade Trivia *Some lyrics of the song are different depending of the context the song is being performed for (the stage show, the soundtrack, a performance for an special event) in order to fit better for the context the constant fourth wall breaking made by Beetlejuice. See Also *The Whole “Being Dead” Thing Pt. 2 Category:Theatrical Songs Category:Group Numbers Category:Television Songs